The Not So Empty Nest

The last one. She is in a life-changing environment, without me. She has been wandering away, in a beautiful way, for about a year or so. We even had a talk about it..."let's avoid the typical drama, and just enjoy each other this year". She pretty much did her own thing...she always has, though. I'm sure I annoyed her sufficiently, but she rarely let on. Her faith is her own, she made sure of that. I've been lifting her up to the Father, asking Him to complete His work in her, but the mother in me wants Him to make it as pain free as is possible. I miss her.

My sweet grandbabies have done their job at filling the void at the moment. They will be with us for a few more weeks, and I love it! I had forgotten, however, that having toddlers and preschoolers around is like CONSTANT crisis management. :) Their mother is more amazing than I can even describe. Reality will begin in September when Massachusettes reclaims them. But I am not afraid, or sad. I am the most fortunate mother on the planet to have the children I have.

Alex, the conqueror, continues to grow in his role as a man of God, and I pray the same prayer for him...mold him, gently. He needs to read Leaving Ruin before he decides on full time ministry. I try not to be, but I am a bit afraid of that. Ministry sounds good in theory. But the reality can be painful. It can leave permanent damage. I know.

Focus

I don't know if it is just that I am tired, or that I have worked more days in the past week than I usually do, but my brain is having a hard time focusing... I'm not having any trouble with factual information, but trouble with conceptual information, and remembering tasks that I don't write down. I want to keep a record of my cognitive state...if I can remember! ha! I want to be fully present as I help Amanda make the transition to life on her own in Lubbock. I don't want to be foggy. I want it to be a good memory for her, and for me.

We had several members of the church over yesterday evening to pray over Amanda, asking God to bless her on her journey. The same core group seems to show up for things like that...we need to get to know them better. We can't keep floundering without community. I am reading Larry Crabb's "The Safest Place on Earth", and oh, my. I long for the connection he writes about. But it is not just going to drop in my lap. It is going to require effort, committment on my part. I told Amy I am just not up for "playing church" any more, for drowning in "church activities". But she reminded me that being involved in some of the church's activities is one way to surround yourself with the people that can encourage you in your walk with Christ. That is true, if we can be real with each other, and not merely congenial. I am praying about the future, and I am hopeful.